Dusk falls, and I drive south, away from love and security. Surely I am the fool today, to give up so much. A demon drives me, but not by his will. I aim to slay him.
I can't count the reasons I hate myself, they are a mountain upon me. A torment I thought eternal. But I now understand, nothing in me is eternal, I've battled the beasts before, and though I've bled and lost before, I've won enough to fight again. I've been loved enough to hope for victory.
The mission is unclear. I wish it weren't, I wish objectives were better defined, that I could perform a surgical strike and be done. Wishes in wars are pointless though. I will do I as I must, assess, decide, act. One day after the other, until the fog rolls out, and I can see a path for myself again.
I will earn my peace, I will keep what I kill, I will find the strength I've lacked. I will become the man I yearn to be. And maybe along the way I'll earn a way back to love. And a home.
