Were I to say it once,
I'd mean it forever.
Yet by forever I mean not only,
For only does not make special.
Were you now to split this heart,
In two,
In four,
In more,
You'd find not oozing tar,
Spread cross these strings,
From pain, sorrow, and loss.
Instead, clear as crystal springs
True love we find
Not in bond or lust,
Not in touched and seen,
But in the soul of one who stood,
Though fallen,
Bleeding,
And through lies,
Death and defeat,
Still standing,
Throwing it back
And asking again.
A piercing note of hope
Amidst angry cries
As it begs "Once more"
Of the patient skies.
And with the quiet answer
Seas of anger settle
To what was,
Before details.
My love.
Not a person,
Not a one,
Just this.
Neither taken,
Nor given,
It was ever mine.
In the light,
Waters flowed,
So it grew,
Tall and bold.
And in darkness,
Trying to cut back,
This briar within,
Thorns shredding,
Still it grew.
Living not in muscle,
In blood or brain,
But transcending matter,
Exceeding thought,
Imagination,
Making me believe in
Believing in something.
While anger quiets in death,
This laughs and cries
And continues,
Undiminished,
In full spectrum and splendor.
This is mine.
And this in me,
This marvel,
A miracle,
This lives in all,
More varied and complex
Than could ever be contained
By a book,
Or a helix,
Or a god.
For how can this be,
This purity,
Buried in each of us,
Who are but flesh,
Fragile and foolish.
We pull it out
Hold it up
And waste it away
As God
Or biology
Or nothing.
Perhaps the fall
Was looking out to see in.
But this is mine,
Blinding sunlight,
And I know I can’t explain.
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