This world was made to disappoint us all. I dream of places,
situations and a life far beyond what could be, and wake to this dead
reality daily.
I have such hopes for so many people that are never lived up to. When
people fail us again and again, how are we expected to become anything
but cold and cynical? When it seems the world is out to get us, how do
we stop trying to strike back?
Hindered by expectations that become my reality, I feel a cripple in
this realm. To a point where I truly don’t know how long I can continue
on. Reasons for happiness I at times have feel petty and foolish on
these darker days. I fear there may be truth to my thoughts, “Nothing
is real, nothing is permanent.”
We will all die and turn to dust, and this seems to bring me some
strange comfort. None of what we do matters, so try as we might, we
can’t really screw it up too badly. Even the globe we inhabit will
eventually be obliterated, scattered into the cold void.
I feel my inner nihilist growing stronger, rising up in me. As he
gains might, I succome to sloth and hopelessness. And without hope, I
become truly nothing.
Aww, don't think of it like that. We've been brainwashed to believe that if we have goals and follow them, then we will be happy in life. The truth is, as Joseph Campbell once said "you must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that was waiting for you." (or something similar.) I used to take life so seriously, and hoped beyond hope I would "become something" when I grew up. Well now I'm grown up and I realized that it's all bullshit, even time is an illusion. Look at each second as an adventure, a divine moment that will come and go, even if it's a painful one, and know that everyone, animals included, have experienced that one second with you. nihilism is for those who cannot see the adventure that nothingness presents. Cheer up.
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