Revenge, Redeemer

    This morning I read an article about a man who walked into a Delaware courthouse and killed his estranged wife.  This is the reason I feel my story must be written, this is the first tale worth telling, because it needs to be told.
    I know how it feels, to be so desperate, to have tried so hard and have it all be for nothing.  You feel so powerless, despair grips your heart, panic seeps in as you realize that what you had, loved, and cherished is no longer yours.  You’ve been wronged, rejected, and insulted.  And then the rage comes.
    It’s so blinding, it burns so hot.  Suddenly there is nothing left in the word but your anger.  You know that no one will give you justice, and so you must take it!  Retribution paid in blood, someone must hurt as you are hurting.
    And, so often, it happens.  One kills, to avenge their murdered heart.  But there is no such thing as justice.  Your heart won’t heal, you won’t get your life back, the things that have happened cannot unhappen.  All you’ve done is spread your pain like a disease, to others who will spread it themselves.
    So what do we do?  How do we hold ourselves back in the face of extreme, overwhelming emotion?  The only way you can, the only way out I found, was to start finding a way to love myself.
    It is not an easy task, at least it wasn’t for me.  Only once I believed, knew, in my heart, that I was worth more than what had happened and those who had wronged me did the rage start to fade.
    It’s not easy, each day a unique struggle, a new battle, but I fight for me each day.  My life, my sense of self and value, these are my prizes.  Ones I’ll never let be taken from me again.