A day is coming that I won’t wake to pangs for you. A day approaches in which I won’t think of you, what you did, what you are doing. Everything that happened was your choice, was thought out and planned. Every moment affection for you dies, each passing second I grow stronger.
Such strength, surprising might, have I found. A blossoming of social and emotional maturity I didn’t know I had. People see it, they tell me they are proud, people I barely knew before. I see a new life forming before me, and it is appealing, full of joy, success, and the love you never gave me.
Still, I wonder of you, and your life. I try and see a future for you not riddled with pain, with a lasting misery, but I cannot. Your darkness comes from within. It is a force you are unwilling to fight, a choice you are not likely to make. For some reason you refuse to forge a better path for yourself, and it is why I finally let go. I refuse to watch all the good become caked in grim and filth until it is unrecognizable. I will try and remember you as you could have been, if you did as you should have.
For me, I am so excited to explore this new comfort with myself. I will fight and earn the respect denied me, I will strive to deserve the passion you withheld. I will be amazing, because I will it.
Will, such an important word that is outside your vocabulary. So often you say “can’t” when you won’t. A mistake, a self defeating thought that has been burned in my brain so fiercely I will never forget, ensuring I will never go there myself.
Rise above, young man. Steel yourself against the overflowing hatred of others, and radiate the love in you that attracted her in the beginning. No more leeches, who take your strength and give you nothing back. No more erasing yourself for anyone, no matter their potential. Your brightness should amplify others, not be sacrificed for them.
Lead, blaze the path others cannot see, and become a beacon in the night for all those who are struggling to find their own beauty. Never again accept destruction into your heart. Never again compromise anything you feel is securely right or true.
Find the truth in you, and always let your words reflect your actions and heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment