The Secret of this Smile

     The last few days have been fantastic. I feel awake, aware, and best of all, happy. I know, how strange, me, with multiple happy posts in a row. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me.
      These days have really been about the joy of generosity for me. Most of you probably already have some idea of who I am, and know I’m not a money hungry man. Yet you don’t have to be money hungry to be “good” with your money. You don’t spend it on frivolous things, you don’t give people loans, and you adhere to a tight and rigorous budget.
      This last year I have discovered that I make more money than I thought, minus a spouse. Enough to keep the house and attend all my expenses and needs, and even have some left over. It has given me some financial freedom, and I’ve not had to stress about money.
      Some of the excess I’ve spent on myself, and it has been fun and useful to me to escape town fairly regularly and just relax, write and reflect. I also bought a ticket for my first convention this summer, and I’m sure it will be a fun and memorable experience.
      Yet, some of the expenditures of money that have been most memorable have been the money spent on others. I’d always thought I was a horrible gift giver, but I’ve discovered a new joy for it. You spend sixty dollars on someone for things a friend needs but really can’t afford, and it increases their quality of life far more than sixty mere dollars could help you. Find the perfect little trinket you know a friend with laugh at, and spend twelve dollars on it. How often do you get to buy an honest, rich laugh for only twelve bucks?
      As you look more and more, you find that we have so many ways to make the lives around us so much richer, fuller, or just more fun. Often with just small amounts of time, rather than money. Taking a day to help someone move, giving up an hour of your afternoon to let a friend unload some frustration, or even just opening a door for someone.
      And the little secret in all of this is, it makes you feel good. Watching someone’s face crease with a smile and a laugh and knowing, you did that. It means a lot to me, anyway. It makes me feel like I matter. Like I’m worth something. Like I did something right, and made this other person who is amazing and beautiful and has no reason to care about the likes of me happy for a moment. Like one day I can be amazing and beautiful too.